Worth the Weight Read online

  “That’s the first time you asked a man out?” Katie said incredulously.

  “Oh, big talk, how many men have you asked out? You had boyfriends who came after you all through high school. Ron asked you out freshman year in college, and you married him after graduation. So, don’t be playing all Miss Sex and The City with me,” she good naturedly shot back at Katie.

  “What was with the cheek kissing? Very European,” Alison piped in.

  “Milan, Paris, the Copper Country…we do it in all the chicest places,” Lizzie answered. “Honestly, I don’t know where that came from, I just…” She let the thought slide away.

  “You just what?”

  “I just…I needed to…I wanted to smell him, okay?” It came out sounding defensive, and she quickly continued, feeling the need to justify herself. “He always had this unique scent about him. I wouldn’t even call it a good scent. Not clean and fresh, but…I don’t know, he smelled of work, Brut, a little of horses, and what I assumed sex smelled like.”

  “Oh, brother,” Alison said. “Brut? Are you kidding me? My dad used to wear Brut, and that was thirty years ago.”

  Katie nodded her head, seeming to understand the intangible quality Lizzie was trying to describe.

  “How about that ‘Liz you look so…so…old,’ God that was priceless,” Alison hooted.

  Lizzie cringed. “Too much to hope for that you guys didn’t hear that, eh?”

  Katie laughed. “Oh, we heard it alright. But don’t worry, we won’t bring it up if you don’t. Because if you look old, I guess that means…”

  “Speak for yourself,” Alison said. All three laughed.

  They walked on in silence, until Katie asked, “Lizzie, are you sure about this plan of yours? Are you sure it’s something you want to do? It’s so unlike you.”

  Lizzie nodded her head. “Yes. I’m sure.” At her friends’ skeptical looks, she continued, “Look, I’ll be up front with him. I’m in town for a couple of months, I’d love to spend some time with him…” she paused wiggling her eyebrows, “intimate time with him. Then I’m gone. No strings, just a summer fling. Either he’s in or he’s out.”

  “Or in and out, in and out,” Alison said, her voice a mocking sexual tone.

  “If I’m lucky,” Lizzie said.

  “But why Finn? You guys didn’t even date that long. I didn’t even remember his name when you called us last month with this plan of yours,” Katie said.

  “You’re right, we didn’t date that long, it wasn’t all that serious, but…” She stopped for a moment, gathering her thoughts. “You know how they say you don’t regret the things you did in life, you regret the things you didn’t do? Well, I regret not sleeping with Finn back then.”

  “Why didn’t you? I mean, I know you were still a virgin, and you hadn’t planned on ‘doing it’ until college,” Katie said, making air quotes.

  “The life plan of Lizzie Hampton, I remember it well,” Alison teased.

  A sad smile curled on Lizzie’s lips. “Funny how that life plan worked out. But, much as I was attracted to Finn, I was determined to stick to my plan back then. The irony is that he dumped me because I wouldn’t sleep with him, and I desperately wanted to.”

  “The jerk,” Alison said.

  “No, not really,” Lizzie went on. “I’m sure it was the real reason he dumped me, but the excuses he gave at the time were actually true.”

  “Like?” Katie asked.

  “Like I was going off to State in the fall. Like we came from totally different backgrounds. Like he didn’t want to get too serious because he wanted to leave town as soon as he could. ” She spoke of it clinically, like it had happened to someone else. In a way it had. That girl was a different person. “He was absolutely right, though he probably didn’t realize it at the time.”

  “So he’s just a ghost to exorcise, eh?” Alison asked.

  Lizzie shrugged, “That too.”

  “And you’re not going to say anything to him about this Davis guy you told us about?” Katie asked.

  Lizzie shook her head. “No need. Davis isn’t anything more than a man I’ve met and I’d like to get to know better. Yet. Finn has nothing to do with my life in Detroit. My real life.”

  The women said nothing for a few moments. Lizzie could feel their concern. She knew they didn’t understand what she’d come home to do. She tried to explain in the most basic terms. “Listen, it’s been a long time since I’ve had sex. I have no idea what will happen the first time out with my body. I could break into hives. I could break into giggles. I could be so insecure about stretch marks and jiggly thighs that I totally freak out.”

  They nodded and waited. She took a deep breath and continued. “I don’t want those things happening with a man who I really want a future with. And I don’t just want to sleep with any random guy I meet to get over this hurdle. That would freak me out in a different way. I know I’m attracted to Finn. I know I desperately wanted to sleep with him years ago, and he with me. He’s safe, non-threatening.”

  Alison started to jump in, but Lizzie raised her hand to stop her. “I know. He did hurt me years ago – but that was kid stuff. Sure, I cried for a few weeks, but I got over it. Teen angst, that’s all it was.” She saw Katie and Alison shoot each other doubtful looks but she ignored them. “It’s not like that this time. No expectations, for either of us. Hearts are not involved.” She paused. “Just bodies.”

  “Are you so sure that Finn can’t be the man for your future? You could be killing two birds,” Katie asked.

  Lizzie threw her friend a sad smile. “Come on, Kat. Can you really see me with a man with no more ambition than to still be working part time in the same theater for seventeen years.” Alison and Katie both slowly shook their heads. “Thanks again for doing the legwork, Kat, and finding out where I could find Finn before I got up here. That cut a lot of time off my timeline.”

  “You have a timeline to fuck Finn Robbins?” Alison teased.

  Lizzie shrugged her shoulders. “Of course. Every important plan needs a timeline, how else would you know if you’re on target?”

  Katie ignored Alison. “You’re welcome, though it wasn’t easy. I had to ask around at the paper and finally the ad rep that handles the theaters knew Finn from picking up ad copy. That guy really flies under the radar.”

  He always did, Lizzie thought to herself. Wanting to change the subject, she said, “Wednesday. Let’s see, today is Monday, so do you know what you’ll both be doing Wednesday afternoon?”

  “Of course, helping you pick out what to wear,” Alison said laughing.

  “I can’t wait to see all the new clothes you must’ve bought now that you’re thin again,” Katie said. She shared Lizzie’s love of clothes.

  “Thanks, Kat, but I’d hardly say thin,” she said as they neared the end of Houghton’s main drag, soon to cross the bridge to Hancock.

  Katie and Alison gave each other a look and Katie laid her hand on Lizzie’s arm causing her to stop. She looked at her two closest friends in the world. “Okay. You may never be skinny, you have too many curves for that - wonderful curves…but Lizard, you must realize you have a great figure again.”

  Stunned, she looked first at Katie, then Alison. Katie was telling her she had a good body. Katie was drop-dead gorgeous. Katie was the pretty one, while Alison was the smart one. Lizzie, of course, was the nice one. Or so they’d been dubbed in elementary school.

  She had been the nice one. Now, she wasn’t so sure. Now it was time to grab life for herself, and if she had to sacrifice some of the niceties to do it, so be it.

  But these two had always loved her - no matter what. Fat. Thin. Nice. Even a woman embarking on a summertime fling with an old flame.

  “It’s so nice to be home with you guys, again,” Lizzie hugged them both.

  “Oooh yah, it’s good to be back in da Yoop, eh?” Katie crowed out in an exaggerated Yooper accent as they crossed the bridge to Hancock.

  Chapter Two<
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  √ Revise timeline?? Do I dare?

  √ Call Sybil about contracts

  Elizabeth Hampton. Liz. He couldn’t believe it. Just when he’d been feeling like such a failure, Liz waltzes into his life. This was just what he needed to get out of his funk.

  There had always been something so innocent, so special about her. Something that made him feel just a little…better…when he was with her. Although he’d been hung up on the idea of being her first, he hadn’t been sure he wanted the responsibility that went with such an honor. Plus, she’d just graduated from high school when they met. She’d be heading to State in the fall. The thought of the only good thing in his life leaving him behind had terrified Finn.

  So he’d ended it.

  He’d done it coldly, had hurt her. He’d known that and it’d killed him. But he’d done it. He’d wanted to make sure she understood there was no going back. At twenty, he’d had plans. He’d do something with his life. As soon as he got things squared away with his mother and sister he was going to get out of this hellhole. Get a job on a real ranch somewhere, maybe Montana or Texas. Maybe even check out the rodeo circuit he’d always dreamed about.

  But life had hit Finn in a big way. Seventeen years later he was in exactly the same place he had been then. Right down to selling popcorn at the Mine Shaft.

  He drove home, feeling unsettled and horny after seeing Liz. The same feeling he’d had on all his drives home after seeing Liz. Pulling the Jeep into the driveway of the farm, he saw a dim light in the picture window. The sight pulled Finn back to one night that stood out from the others.

  He’d been with Liz at the beach, had gotten in her pants, had almost gotten her in his, when she’d called a halt to the evening. He’d dropped her off, grumbling about it being time she grew up, which she pretended not to hear. He’d pulled the Jeep into the driveway of the farmhouse to see a lone dim light shining as it was now.

  He’d gone inside to find his mother at the kitchen table. Not a surprising sight for any other kid, but the fact that his mother was home on a weekend night before midnight was indeed shocking to him. Then he’d seen the glass in her hand, the half empty bottle of whiskey on the counter and the rough looking man entering the room from the bathroom, and Finn’s surprise was replaced with concern.

  “Where’s Phoebe?” he asked immediately. He didn’t need his sister to see their mother drunk. He certainly didn’t want Phoebe to see Linda throwing herself at some stranger. He’d taken great pains to shield his sister from the frequent sight.

  “She’s staying in the trailer with your grandmother,” his mother answered. Her eyes were looking at the man, her lips turned into a lustful smirk that the man returned with a low chuckle. As if Finn’s concern about his sister reminded Linda that she was indeed a mother, she asked, “Where ya been, honey?”

  He knew the endearment, in fact, the question as a whole, was only asked for the benefit of impressing the man who stood in the kitchen doorway, undressing Finn’s mother with his eyes. Finn knew she couldn’t care less where he’d been.

  Hell, she didn’t even know if he was home most nights, because she sure wasn’t. He was home, though, making sure that Phoebe was taken care of. His grandmother was a huge help, but Gran and his mother rubbed each other the wrong way and Gran stayed in the trailer when Finn’s mother was around.

  Disgusted by the man’s obvious lust, and his mother’s attempt at feigning maternal concern, he lashed out at her. “Why do you care where I’ve been? You couldn’t give a shit about me or Phoebe. Just as long as you’ve got a bottle and a man, you’re happy.”

  He turned to leave, but his mother could give as good as Finn. In fact, that was where he’d learned to hurt, at his mother’s knee.

  “You were with that prissy Hampton girl, weren’t you? That’s why you’re home so early. Had to get Miss Goody-Goody home before she turned into a pumpkin?”

  He whirled around, meaning to answer, but stopped at the venomous look in his mother’s blood-shot eyes.

  “When are you going to get it, Finn? You ain’t ever going to be good enough for the Hamptons in this world. That girl is just sowing some wild oats with you. She’s slumming. And you’d better wake up and smell the coffee if you think you mean anything more to her than a wild, bad boy who can get her off. She may heat up nice and cozy when you’re alone, but it will be a Charles or a Biff that she ends up with.” She rose from the table, still holding her glass, nodded to the man to follow her, and unsteadily walked from the kitchen to the stairs.

  He slammed out the door and slept on the couch of the trailer, trying to drown out his mother’s words. Trying to escape the truth of them that rang in his ears.

  Shaking off the long-ago memory, Finn left his Jeep and approached the farmhouse. He tried to ignore his mother’s long ago words as he thought about the coincidence of running into Liz after all these years.

  Maybe he hadn’t been good enough for her then. Hell, maybe he still wasn’t. It mattered then, it didn’t now.

  Now, Liz was back for a short time, and she wanted him. Of that much he was sure. He’d been caught off guard seeing her but she’d taken the lead, obviously recovering from the shock of seeing him much faster. Next time he’d be on surer footing.

  He was looking forward to Wednesday, and looking forward to anything was a feeling he hadn’t experienced in a long time. Even though pretty much everything else in his life had turned to shit, it looked like he might get one thing he’d always wanted.

  To sleep with Liz Hampton.

  When Lizzie woke the next morning, she immediately did the same thing she’d done every morning for the last three years. She rolled over onto her right side, slid her hand under her pajama bottoms and down to her tummy. Then she measured it. Her tummy. Or, by now, what was left of her tummy.

  Three years ago she’d decided she was ready to begin the next chapter of her life, one that would include losing weight and being open to the idea of real intimacy with someone.

  She’d been a size ten in high school and though she’d probably never see that size again, three years of excruciating dieting and exercise had gotten her close. Now, the real work was ahead of her.

  This morning, her tummy pooched out just slightly. Probably from her mother’s creamed chicken the other night. The pooch wasn’t an amount that anyone else could notice, but Lizzie did. She noticed within a centimeter if there was a change, just by the measurement of her hand from hipbone to hipbone. It was a minor miracle that she could even touch each hipbone across the span of her hand from wrist to fingertips. At her heaviest, her hand curved around fat and stopped before her fingertips even reached the mid-way point.

  Slowly - achingly slowly - her belly had receded and her fingers curled less and less to become the straight digits they now were.

  She’d have to be careful this trip, especially with her mom’s cooking. She couldn’t let loose like she was on vacation, not if she’d be here for the two months she’d mentioned to Finn. She’d come too far to have a two-month back-slide.

  She thought of her upcoming date with Finn and her hand left her tummy and did a quick scan of her body as she rolled onto her back. All her parts seemed to be in the right places and would probably pass an inspection. And if not, well, it was only Finn. That was the whole point of the plan…trying out the new body on someone she could walk away from. She knew that was possible with Finn, she’d done it before.

  She looked at her alarm clock and saw it was past ten. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept so late. It must be the fresh Copper Country air and the walk home last night.

  She went through her mental calendar once again. It was the second week in June. She’d allotted two weeks to find out where Finn worked and lived. Katie cut that down to just a few days with her connections at the Ingot. Another week to make contact with Finn. One more week to ask him out, and probably two to three weeks of seeing him before they would sleep together. She added another week
on for additional sex if she so desired. It didn’t occur to her to add in any time for what Finn may desire. Then back to Detroit.

  Back to her business. Back to her future.

  All totaled, eight weeks, give or take, to find a man whom she hadn’t seen in eighteen years, dazzle him, sleep with him, get to a comfort level with her new body, then leave town.

  Lizzie loved a plan.

  It was a testament to how serious she was about her plan that she was willing to leave her office in the very capable hands of her staff for that long.

  By asking Finn out the first time she saw him, she was already four weeks ahead of schedule. She wouldn’t announce her possible early return to her assistant, Sybil, when she called the office this morning. No sense saying she’d be back sooner than she expected then have something go wrong with her time line. Better to give herself a buffer.

  As she had her morning coffee, she made her check-in call and checked her email. Sybil told her everything was fine and it would be appreciated if she could limit her calls to at least every other day, preferably weekly. Lizzie laughed at that, and Sybil sighed, realizing the futility of the request. Sybil also told her that Pete Ryan had called. Nothing important, he had just wanted to check in, but was surprised to learn that Lizzie was in their mutual hometown area.

  She wrote a note in her ever-present notebook to call Petey later that day. She could easily text him, but if Petey had called, that meant he wanted to talk. He probably wanted to commiserate about the Red Wings’ loss in the playoffs. She knew he had a couple of charity appearances this week, ones she’d set up for him. He’d probably head up for the remainder of the summer. Since starting in the NHL, Petey had spent all his summers back in the U.P.